Damn you, urban dictionary

Introducing two words that I swear I came up with independently, only to discover that that accursed urban dictionary has already recorded their existence. Whatever, I present you here with my own definitions.

1) baloneous, adj. Having the quality or consistency of baloney, that is to say, malarkey, flim-flam, flapdoodle, etc. Acceptable extensions of the term, courtesy of a jazz musician, a friend, and the Central Square restaurant that inspired him, include: baloneous monk, and thence: baloneous monkish.

Example: His dissertation comparing Barth and Barthes just seemed unmistakably baloneous.

2) crayfish, n. and/or interjection. The next stage of the evolution that has proceeded this far as follows: crazy --> cray --> cray-cray --> crayfish.

Example: So-and-so will be there, and so-and-so, and so-and-so... Crayfish!!!

Cookies

So remember when everyone made fun of Cookie Monster for singing a song called "A Cookie is a Sometimes Food"? Here surely was a case of P.C. run amok. "Even the Cookie Monster can't have cookies anymore in this helicopter-parenting culture of ours! How depressing and humorless of them. "

Except that the title of the song is actually kind of a clever, learned reference to a Gershwin number from Porgy and Bess: "A Woman is a Sometime Thing." Which makes it all a much better joke.

The moral: never assume you are cleverer or have a better sense of humor than Sesame Street.